Building Successful Relationships: Top Tips to Snag Your Next Love Connection

Greeting Ladies!

I was having a conversation with one of my male co-workers yesterday and we got on the subject of the characteristics of a successful woman. We began to list all the basics- well educated, great job, good credit and so on until we felt we had a pretty comprehensive list. I thought we did pretty good and I was confident that I encompassed at least 90% of the list.

It wasn't until a few hours later that he sent me a text saying the following:
"You know what's one of the most important characteristics? Ability to get and keep a fulfilling relationship with a man."

Wow.

That hadn't even occurred to me. After I gave it some thought, I decided it was a valid characteristic. Of course, we YBR women do not need a man to validate who we are, however, for the most part- participating in a fulfilling, lasting relationship is a goal of many young women. Sadly though, alot of us are not equipped to do just that. Check out some tips below that are sure to turn your relations with men from not so great to huge success!

1) Like yourself. IF YOU DON'T THINK YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL, INTERESTING, AND WORTHY OF BEING DATED- then guess what? No man will either. It may seem simple enough, but this one tip truly plays a huge part in why some women never seem to have issues with getting and keeping relationships and other women do. On a sub-conscious level, men are attracted to women who are attracted to themselves! Like yourself- as a matter of fact- LOVE yourself and the men will come running!

2) Like men. Seems obvious doesn't it? Well, it actually isn't. How many times this week have you said "All men are dogs" or "There aren't any good men out there" or my personal favorite, "All the good ones are taken..or gay." If this is how you truly feel, then why are you looking for a relationship in the first place? This is the logic the universe sees also and is the reason why so many smart, successful black women are still single. Change your thoughts about men no matter what happened in your past. There are always opportunities for new beginnings.

3) Treat every man you meet as a unique human being. This has to be one of the most challenging tips for me, I must admit. There are times when I hear a story from a friend about what a man has done to her or even think back on my own past experiences with men and the anger starts to build up. It's at these times that I may not be as nice as I should be to the next man I encounter. This definitely is NOT the way to go. If you enter a relationship with a man (whether it be platonic or intimate) and are harboring feelings of resentment or ill will, it will eventually begin to manifest itself into your situation. Remember to treat men the way you would want to be treated.

4) Go where the men go. This is probably one of the most important tips. Although it is likely, it is not very probable that you will meet your future husband at the nail salon or the supermarket. Try stepping out of your comfort zone and going to different places- try sports bars, adult ed classes in real estate, finance, or car repair, bookstores (especially cafe bookstores, and ski trips. Get involved with volunteer work. Go fishing. Not only will you begin to expand your own horizons and develop new hobbies and interests, you may run into a new love interest.

These tips may seem too easy to work, but I assure you they do. Whatever you do, remember that you are Young, Black, and Rich and you deserve to be loved for who you are!

To Your Success,
Alecia D.